I'm out of ideas.

...Yeah. That's right. I.M. Meen Out of ideas.

Okay, I'll try to churn out an update since I haven't in ages. *goes onto Waluigious and Coin Heaven to make sure what I do hasn't already been done, because I totally haven't used the same ideas as Waluigious on one or two occasions*

Mario Prases- Part the Second

For those of you feeling a little sad at the lack of updates- do not despair!
I think a fitting cure would be some "motivational" quotes- Mario style!

-Play Super Mario Land every day; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. ~Mario Twain
-Indifference and neglect... made you run into that Goomba in level 1-1 AGAIN, damnit! ~J.K. Roll-into-the-cage
-Always forgive your enemies... especially in SMW, because even GOOMBAS can be useful when killed. ~O'Chunks Wilde
-Deal with the consequences of your actions, 'cause life ain't no video game... even though that's a quote from a video game and written by people who make video games. ~Takayuki Lakitu, Arisa Tokata (the voice of) Yoshihiro Kawabata
-Read your enclosed instruction book not to find contradict and confute, nor to find talk or discourse, but to get instructions on how to get through the hotels. ~Sir Francis... nerr-herr-herr... I said Francis...

And that's it! Did you get all the references? Tell me in the comments!
Until next time, Mario fans!

WN(MC) Mario Meanderings- Toad

Ah, Toad. The little mushroom-headed guy with a high-pitched, loud voice- but full of mysteries, oddities and basically things that make you go "WTF?!".

If I may begin at the beginning. First of all, Toads are a species, and a lot of them have a tendency to have the word "Toad" or a mushroom reference in their name (e.g. Toadsworth or Toadette for the former, Chantarelle for the latter). But why, of all people, is Toad simply called "Toad"?
Wouldn't that be a bit like a couple naming their kid "person"?
Or maybe it's supposed to be a common name (i.e. John) of some kind.

Something I've really been thinking about for a while is- if Toads are mushrooms and they eat mushrooms (the Paper Mario series in particular seems to see them as the basis of a Toad's diet), doesn't that make them cannibals (although, the Toads would be more evolved (e.g. Fungi Sapiens) and the mushrooms are just mushrooms (technically animals, since they have eyes and move around) so it'd be like a human eating monkey meat (eww).)? If they are mushrooms anyway...

Which brings us to the not-so-age-old-but-hey-it's-been-around-for-a-while-and-that's-a-pretty-long-time-on-the-internet question that goes something like this...

Wait for it...

IS TOAD'S MUSHROOM HAT A HAT OR IS IT PART OF HIS HEAD?!

Okay, maybe I made too mush of a big deal out of that ("mush" was a typo but I'm going to leave it in because... well, you should know if you've read the rest of this post), but it's a valid question.

Just think about it though- if you look closely at some of the new 3D artwork (example below in case you're too lazy, there was glitch so don't worry if multiple or no pictures appear, I'll sort it out soon)

As you can see, the mushroom cap doesn't seem to blend with the head- hard to actually explain how it looks. The image speaks for itself (very nasally and high-pitched, in fact).

Also, female Toads like Toadette have pigtails/ponytails that come out seemingly from under their mushroom hats.

Well? What do you think?

And no, I'm not going to bring up how his sprite looks like he's flipping you off. There are more important things than that.

Until next time...

Super Mario 64 DS? Super fail. (Part 1)

Now, I know what you're thinking.
No, really, it's not all that much of an improvement from the original SM64.
Now, even though the DS is also a 64-bit console, it is inferior in many ways, and SM64DS is no different.
You see, one of the first things you'll notice is this: the items that were 2D in SM64 used interpolation to make them look smoother as you get closer.
The DS simply cannot do this.
Now, a lot of things were good, don't get me wrong, unlike in SM64 items like underwater and the mirror are more visible, tinted rather than being simply transparent, and there are some neat new tricks you can do in the mirror room, as well as taking advantage of the mirror system by changing paintings of Luigi into paintings of Wario, invisible things only visible in the mirror, turning Mario's reflection into Luigi, and a fully navigatable mirror room (well, sort of. the only thing past the door is a blank white space containing a secret star), catching M.I.P.S.-like rabbits can earn you minigames and stars, and many more things.
However, there were other things that were not so great.

An article announcing Waluigi's appearance in SM64DS showed beta screenshots of his 3D model and abilities.
Alas, they were only beta screenshots.
Waluigi never got a chance to appear in a popular DS game- wereas Wario did.
However, Waluigi's door was left in, but with only the sounds of cackling and a very scared player running out- maybe Waluigi is still in there, scaring away the protagonists and plotting his revenge...
Or maybe some boos have just taken up residence in the empty room.
The latter is more likely, taking into account that the courtyard is full of them.

Now, does anyone remember the title screen of SM64, with the fun little "stretch mario's face around" minigame? If not:
Well, in SM64DS, they replaced it with this:
Now, look at this:

Now, wouldn't that have been a lot better?
If it was possible as a DS demo, why couldn't it have been on SM64DS?
I know a lot of people thought the drawing minigame was pretty good, and I personally don't mind it, but wouldn't we all like the 3D mario head stretching minigame back?
I know I would.

So, that's all for today, next time- more!

Mario Phrases

Now, if you read Waluigious, you should know that in one article he rewrote various sayings to be Mario-themed (and make considerably more sense).
So, being inspired by Waluigious (and Artemendo in general), I decided to do some of my own.

-The grass is always greener... In level 1-1.
-%90 of everything is... Remakes.
-Engage brain before... Going to World 8-Tower 2 in NSMB. (NSMB)
-No news... Means Parakarry is out of a job. (PM)
-A chain is no stronger than... Mario in SMRPG. (SMRPG)
-A rolling stone... Can help you kill those annoying nipper plants. (SMW2: YI)
-If the cap fits, wear it... If you're in Boo's Haunt as Yoshi (You can't eat ghosts). (SM64DS)
-The early bird gets the worm... Or is it the bagel? (SMW cartoon)
-Paddle your own boat... But if you break your controller, don't say I didn't warn you. (Paddle Battle, Mario Party)

So, there you go!
Hope you enjoyed it.

The truth behind L is real... For real!

Ah, L is Real...
The infamous engraving on the courtyard statue.
Everyone thinks Luigi is in the game.
It's quite true there are a series of clues to hint Luigi's appearance in the ghost house in SM64DS, and the method described here is just the way to find him...
You see, Luigi is NOT a secret character in SM64.
The Original Super Smash Bros. proves this in its description of Luigi.
Rather, it is a reference to a game that has shared many references to the Mario series...
I am of course talking about the N64 LoZ game that also contained the infamous texture.
In LoZ, it reads something like this:
"Giant dead Dodongo
When it sees red
A new way to go will open"
In short, when you kill the Dodongo, a new pathway opens up.
This describes a similar way to reach Boo's haunt in SM64.
"Giant dead Boo
When it sees red (Mario)
A new way to go will open."
In SM64DS, Luigi's portrait is located in Boo's haunt.
So, there is a Luigi connection after all.
But, sadly, not in SM64.

Let there be blog!

And there was blog.
This is the first post of my new Mario column!
Thanks to Artemendo, Pyro-Sith, Reed and everyone else at Waluigious and MTfaMM!
There just aren't enough of these around, and the great ones that were, like Coin Heaven, have gone.
So...
Here's a new one!

~Tehlivingpencil